Antidepressant withdrawal

If, there is anyone reading this, I apologize for the messiness of the posts. I have somehow mixed my reality and imagination up. Today, I would like to write about something very real.

I have dysthymia and episodes of major depression. Over the course of a year, my prescription went from 1 to 6 types of medication - Wellbutrin, Sertraline, Quetiapine and Lithium are the staples; Clonazepam and Lyrica are as needed. I don't know if I need this many drugs, but I took them anyway.

A month ago, I decided to get myself 'clean'. Prior to this decision, I had two episodes in a span of 2 months, even though I took the medication religiously.

I weaned myself carefully, taking a month to half my dosage of Wellbutrin, Sertraline and Lithium. I need Quetiapine to sleep.

I had nausea first. On trains, in cars, even when I walk. Then my normally strong stomach weakened and became sensitive to food. When that eased off, I began to feel very lethargic. So much so I fear the mornings, because I will have to lug myself to work, struggle to keep myself awake, and at the end of the day, drag myself home.

I am still lethargic, but brain zaps had joined the party. My brain zaps feel like electrical impulse zipping through my brain. It makes me feel lightheaded and a little nauseated. The part of me that likes to torture myself found it interesting.

It will take some time for me to get off the medication, but I'm not about to give up. They cost money, and they cause side effects.

To anyone who happens to read this, I started taking the medication out of desperation; I was suicidal. But I also started to take the medication thinking it might cause me harm. Yeah, I was self-harming. The irony.

To those considering psychiatric medication, they work for 70% of the population (if I am not wrong), so they might work for you. But if you feel psychotherapy might work for you, do go for that first.
Also, don't believe everything the psychiatrist prescribes you. Do your own research. The psychiatrist means no harm, but they do overlook some issues with some meds.

To give an example, I was prescribed 300mg of wellbutrin every morning, and the psychiatrist added 150mg more in the afternoon. In two weeks I had so many neurological side effects I thought I had multiple sclerosis.
A research told me he was not supposed to prescribe more than 150mg in a single dose, and 450mg is the daily maximum. To make things worse, I have always been sensitive to side effect and my body weight is low (94lbs).
When I told him about my side effects, he didn't think it was the wellbutrin. Well, the MS-like symptoms went away after I reduce the dosage.

So, listen to their advice, but question them too.
If you suffer from psychiatric disorder, my heart goes out to you, and I wish you well.

Love
Julie